Friday, 27 May 2016

"Room" - Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay

Photo credit: Screenshot of promotional images on IMDb
IMDb profile here

I wept my way through this film. I actually had to leave the screen room to get more tissues, there being no discreet way to wipe that much snot on a sleeve.

I went to see it at one of my local independent cinemas, by myself in the middle of the day, during the month I spent writing, pottering and looking for a new direction/job. And I loved it.

It still feels like an odd thing to say about a film that explores such dark aspects of human actions, but the reviews called it "life affirming" and I really thought that was true. The tag line, "love knows no boundaries", feels trite to me - it sums up the beauty of the film a little too conveniently, a bit too accurately. The film itself is much more nuanced.

But the marketers are right - it's the exploration of love that makes this film extraordinary. It's the depiction of the love between a mother and son (primarily) that is so stunning: creative, devoted, fallible and ordinary. When I watched this film I had a sneaky suspicion that I was pregnant. And it gave me hope, in the most bizarre way.

There are so many voices that weigh into the discussion about the best way to be a mother. Encouraging voices, knowledgeable voices, critical voices, uninformed voices. I'm not trying to detract from the importance of shared experience: it's good to talk and to know that others have been through similar things; it's healthy to have support and not be isolated or cut off. I do want that.

But above all, I want to be brave. I want to be courageous and kind and unafraid. I want to trust myself and enjoy my family and rely on God. I want to bring every ounce of love and ingenuity I have to this great adventure and not feel the need to check in with everyone else's expectations all the time. And I want to believe in my intuition. 

Because it turns out my little hunch was right. I am pregnant. When I watched this film, I got to glimpse the vast possibilities in being a parent. It made me feel more alive with the wonder of that than any other book or advice column or resource I've come across so far.

I think it might be time to add it to my film collection...

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